Hello all, this is my story, my truth.  It might sound rather bitter and cynical.   If you ever met me, you would gain a different perspective about my personality, I am positive, happy and fun.

 

So here it goes.  I left a horribly abusive marriage after 16 years, the police had told me for years, change your identity take your children and leave that is possibly the only way l would be safe. Why should l run l thought, l have done nothing wrong.  So instead l gathered the courage and put him in jail.

 

Free at last, peace is all l wanted.  Sitting down one day  l noticed one day my right leg had this tremor , that l could turn off when l thought about it.  I was age 43...Over the year it  became a little worse.  Eventually after doctors’ visits , l find myself at a neurologist.

 

He tells me l might have  MS, Wilsons Disease, or Parkinson’s,  not sure which one.   Off for a brain scan, where they notice some sort of spots on my brain, nothing to worry about. Just little brain burn outs from being beaten.  Come back if it gets worse.

 

Well yes it got worse, walking one day l noticed loss of arm swing, that’s strange l thought, also having difficulty writing.

 

Back to the neurologist.   He tells me l have symptoms of Parkinson’s Disease.  WHAT!!!! I’m screaming inside.   I don’t even know what it is, apart from Mohammed Ali and  Michael J Fox have it.  Okay so what, l will shake a little l thought.  I can deal with that.  Neurologist asks me have l ever been unconscious, well lots of times l was knocked out thank you to a terrible husband.

 

The neuro tells me it might be a good idea to go to a seminar, for the newly diagnosed.   I was not ready for it. I saw the neurologist’s report and ran out in tears. I have heard since that thanks to me, the neurologist section is now treated with more sensitivity.

 

It possibly took me around 3 years to come to terms with this,  I think l cried every day.  Every time l stopped to relax, the thought would enter my head.  I have Parkinson’s disease, that was my waking thought every morning, and the last thing l thought of before l went to sleep.   I don’t deserve this, l have already had enough crap to deal with in my life.

 

One thing I don’t like is hearing the term Parky, why would anyone make it sound happy

 

I deal with this mostly  myself, l have only told my children, my current beautiful partner, and my mum but l do not burdeon them with my thoughts.

 

I live in the day, live in the moment.   I am now 51, taking sinamet   , you would not know l have pd, and l do not intend telling anyone until l have to,

 

Things l am achieving are living in the day and the moment, encouraging my children to grow up to be healthy young men, and enjoying the time l have with my lovely boyfriend.

 

I belong to quite a few support groups on line, l will be the one who will pull you up when you are feeling down.

 

Come on someone, find the Cure J